Posted by: alphafemme | August 31, 2009

birthday treats!

I’m home!

The trip was amazing. Except for the part where on Friday I got food poisoning and had a fever and was puking and shitting until Sunday. It slowed down for long enough for mi’lady and me to get massages on Saturday afternoon (about the only thing I could be coaxed out of the hotel room for), which turned out to be a GREAT idea because it totally massaged away my fever.

But aside from that, it was truly amazing. My birthday was on Wednesday and my best friend, who lives in Boston, called me in the morning to wish me a happy birthday and tell mi’lady that “alphafemme deserves lots of treats today!” Mi’lady laughed and said, “don’t worry, she’ll get lots of treats.”

Here is a list of her “treats”:

– she kissed me extra sweetly in the morning, and was extra sweet and cuddly as we were preparing to get up (this is a true treat, since she is NOT a morning person)

– she let me sit by the window on the airplane (it’s so silly that I love the window seat so much, especially since I’ve probably been on at least 100 flights in my life, but I do, I just love it! every single time it makes me get all existential and I just stare and stare and stare until we’re above the clouds)

– she arranged with the hotel ahead of time to have a reservation made for us at a lovely beachfront restaurant in Puerto Vallarta (called Amapas Sunset), and then she treated me to dinner and we went totally crazy and got waaaaay too much food and also quite a bit to drink

– …and then when we got back from dinner and went up to the room, I got the key out and was in the middle of saying “oh my god it’s so hot it’ll be so nice to get into our air-conditioned r—-” stopped short completely flabbergasted when I got the door open and noticed that there were rose petals all over the hotel floor, table top, dresser, and bed, and candles literally everywhere, glowing up the whole room, and there was even music on… (I don’t even remember what the music was, but it thankfully wasn’t anything too sentimental and mushy or I might have felt it was over the top) and I was completely floored, a bit overwhelmed, and felt almost like laughing because it’s so cliche! But so perfectly cliche. She knew it too, but she wanted to do something totally romantic and cliche for me. So then we took slutty naked photos of each other and messed up all the rose petals having dirty, noisy sex. Haha.


(Don’t you kind of wish that picture were one of the slutty ones? C’mon, admit it…)

– and THEN a bit later as we were finally getting ready for bed she said “I have one more thing for you” and I was like okay this is too much… but she went to her bag and took out a slim self-burned CD, on which she’d written “Alphafemme’s Birthday Song, 8/26/2009” and I knew right away… she wrote a song for me! And recorded it! And put it on a CD for me! I couldn’t listen to it right away because she hadn’t put it on her iPod or anything and we hadn’t brought laptops with us (so that we could escape reality in its completeness), so I had to wait until today to listen to it. And this morning after I’d finally caught up on a bit of my work from last week I finally did get to listen to it, and I wish I could reproduce the words here because they’re so beautiful. But because this blog is anonymous that would be potentially bad for copyright reasons, but basically it was about how she loves me. And that sort of thing. And the best part? It wasn’t an annoying sappy song! It’s a bit funky, a bit poppy, a tiniest smidgeon ballad, very synthy, very, very her.

There is no better way that my fears from this post could have been addressed.

There is so much more to tell about our vacation, but I think for now I will just leave you with this gorgeous Mexican sunset:



  1. oh how romaaaaanitc. Sounds like perfection.

    I’ll admit, I was hoping for a picture. I’m just naughty. ;)

    • it’s ok, I’m (clearly) naughty too ;) but I’m also shy!

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