Posted by: alphafemme | July 14, 2009

my refrigerator, British accents, and weepy drunks

I’m moving on Sunday (just across the city) so I’m trying to eat up all the food I have already rather than buying new food, so that I don’t have to end up just moving it. This is proving to require a hefty amount of creativity, given that these are the current contents of my refrigerator:

– two dozen eggs (I have no idea how they all got there)
– pickles
– feta cheese
– lemonade
– two yellow onions
– a grapefruit
– four different kinds of mustard (dijon, horseradish, tarragon, and plain yellow)
– sriracha
– sour cream
– frozen blueberries
– Ben & Jerry’s Half Baked ice cream
– Thai peanut sauce
– half a can of tomato paste
– lemon curd

Any ideas? Tonight I used up half an onion, my frozen spinach, two eggs, and the end of a block of cheddar cheese and made an omelette. That was about the last normal thing I think it’s possible to make based on what I’ve got left. I may be conducting some hazardous experiments involving a blender over the next several days…


Speaking of moving, yay! I’m moving! My new flat, although smaller, comes equipped with a washer/dryer, a cute little deck, an awesome neighborhood, a mere 15-20 minute commute to work, and an adorable British Indian (via Paris) chain-smoking roommate who claims she’s an alien sent down from outer space to record the human experience in downtempo spoken word trip hop. I kid not. She may be a bit eccentric, but at the very least she has a British accent, which counts for a lot.


Also, things are quite good in the lady department. She called last night, a bit drunk, and a bit teary (it’s that time of the month…), and bubbled over with worry that I was going to break up with her for moving to Oakland. It made me realize that I’ve been kind of a huge whore about the Oakland thing. She’s moving at the end of the summer to live with her band, and I haven’t been that happy about it because, well, she’ll be leaving the city. Oakland’s not far, it’s just across the Bay, but still… LEAVING the CITY! Who would want to leave San Francisco? Oakland is so far out of my realm of daily experience that it seems very, very far, and I’ve been apprehensive that her moving there will be a strain on our relationship.

But I realized last night that, while I’ve been trying really hard to be supportive of it, my stress about it hasn’t escape mi’lady. And it’s making her anxious. And that isn’t okay. I really want her to be happy, and if she’ll be happy by moving in with her band, then I think she should do it! I actually really do think she should do it. And so I just decided I’m not going to worry. Once she’s moved there, after all, Oakland will enter the realm of my daily experience, just by virtue of her being there. And it will work out. It will work out just fine. It will work out much better if she does move there than if she doesn’t and is unhappy about it. So I made the decision to let it go, and I have. I let it go.

Also, she’s just so cute when she’s drunk and weepy and tired that it just about melts my heart.



  1. OK — I’ve been thinking about this for a few minutes. Like way too long actually. You could make a smoothie with some ice , the lemonade, grapefruit and blueberries. Or you could make a fruit salad dessert with the grapefruit and the blueberries and just drinking the lemonade with a few blueberries in it for fun.

    Then the only common denominator you have is the eggs so unless you want to be eating several egg based dishes for the next few days you’re going to have purchase another common denominator. Right now, you can make a nice scramble/omelette with the onion, feta, sriracha, and sour cream. It might taste weird, but I have a good feeling. You could get some shortbread cookies to put the lemon curd on. Pickles = snack. Ice cream = snack. That just leaves whatever’s left over from the stuff I already mentioned, the peanut sauces and mustards… and those can probably be added to eggs in some iteration?

    I hope this helped!

    • haha wow you really did think about it! I actually took care of the grapefruit this morning, so that’s one thing gone. and I think I might use the blueberries as a topping for the ice cream. Maybe a bit weird in chocolatey ice cream, but I’m sure there are weirder things. Though I really like the idea of a smoothie of some sort of the lemonade and blueberries. I might try that tomorrow morning.

      Also, I totally neglected to mention I have dry pasta! So I think I can use the peanut sauce with that. And actually, your scramble concoction sounds pretty good. Dinner tonight! haha.

      And then there’s the mustard… lord knows what I’m going to do with all that. Might have to cave and get some bread and cheese. Or else just cave and move it with me.

      Totally helpful, haha thanks! :)

  2. I really like using dijon as an ingredient in homemade salad dressings and in a glaze over salmon. you have none of the things that would be involved in either of these recipes. i just felt the need to express my affinity for mustard.

    • hahaha. you’re right, I have none of those things. actually, I do have oil and vinegar. I neglected to mention that part because they’re not really perishable so I don’t mind packing them in boxes. but… I don’t really have anything to dress. unless… what about an onion and feta salad with a balsamic vinaigrette (with dijon mustard)? DOESN’T THAT SOUND GOOD????

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